When people first take a break from alcohol, in those all-important first few days and weeks, it is commonplace to experience a little flatness, boredom, or confusion as to how to relax and unwind after a long day at the office, or a stressful event in your life.
This is all normal, and I experienced it as well. For example, I associated chilling in front of the TV in the evenings after work with drinking alcohol, so I stopped watching TV. Which is fine, because I could game, but I still felt at a loose end when it came to de-stressing, or relaxing after a tough day. Usually I went to bed early, with a good book, and this was enough at the time. I was addicted to quit-lit, and must have read maybe twenty books on the subject, desperate for all the information to better ease my own journey. It worked for me.
However, some of my clients struggle with this. Evenings were often filled with a glass of wine, and they often forget what it was they used to do, pre-drinking days. I am asked for recommendations pretty frequently. I have plenty of tips, but heartily agree that relaxing can be a challenge without the numbing effect of alcohol at first. So, I started looking for answers from fellow coaches and other successful sober warriors. It is an ongoing journey of discovery for me, and one I will continue for many years.
And then I discovered something that genuinely helped me to relax. And it wasn't found in a glass. It was called a Shakti Mat, and I loved it from the very first moment I started using it.
Inconspicuous looking, it was a beautiful black cotton mat covered in spikes. I also received a matching pillow. I purchased it because it promised to aid relaxation, using acupressure (as apposed to acupuncture), whereby the tiny spikes would put pressure on the skin, but not break it. I likened it to a bed of nails, but maybe a kind version. The reviews were fantastic, and it was ethically manufactured, so it ticked all the boxes for me. I chose this as my "I'm not drinking" gift to myself, which is a tradition I have followed every three months or so ever since I gave up alcohol. I love receiving something physical for my hard-earned money, instead of drinking it, and then tossing the empty bottle into an overfilled bottle bank. Even after years of not drinking I still appreciate the little things like this.
Having scoured the instructions, I placed the mat on my bed, as recommended, with the pillow above. It was made with a quality thick cotton, and it had a pretty gold pattern on it. The guide said I could wear a t-shirt if I wished, but I instead elected to remove this to get full benefit of the treatment. I then downloaded the Shakti app, pressed play on the first of eight "getting to know you" guided relaxation sessions, and carefully lowered myself onto the mat.
At first, it burned a little, not necessarily painfully so, but within minutes the sensations quickly became warmth throughout the entirety of my back, neck and shoulders. The app reassured me this was exactly how it should be, so I closed my eyes and allowed the tiny pins to do their work. The best way I can liken it to, is a deep tissue massage. I could literally feel all the stresses of the day seep away into those spikes, and the relief was simply immense! In fact, I realised I probably should have gone for a higher level mat. I had chosen level 1, because I was new to acupressure, but laying there, enjoying the warm sensations in my skin, I had decided already to get another mat for my husband, and a second mat for me, but level 2.
Another thing I noticed as I lay there, listening to soothing music and the gentle, encouraging voice of the guide on the app, is that I was easily able to switch off completely. I had been trying mindfulness apps and meditation courses for a few years, and I always found it difficult to stop my thoughts from distracting me. But laying on the mat felt completely natural and even comforting, so I found myself being dragged into a lovely, blissful, relaxing trance-like state. No thoughts, no worries, I just felt completely at peace.
The guide told me to find knots I could work on, and then to relax these areas further. Focus on the sensations, it said. Sure enough, my shoulders, always tight with stress at the best of times, could drop a little more, and so I did so. The spikes did their work, like thousands of tiny massage hands rolling away all the tension, and the sensations changed slightly again.
Next the guide suggested a breathing method, which I followed. By now I would have attempted a headstand if it had asked me to. I cannot do headstands. Or at least, I very much doubt I can. Not since I was six years old, anyway. But this is how much I believed in this wonderful spiky mat.
All the tension of the week, the month, hell even the year, dissipated in a swift minute, and I was left completely, peacefully, wonderfully relaxed, better than any glass of wine had ever done. The soft music was all that surrounded me, and I found myself with no thoughts in my head at all, except for the deep gratitude for this black cotton mat. I almost fell asleep, but I wanted to stay awake to enjoy every moment.
After twenty minutes had passed, the gentle voice returned and asked me to wiggle my fingers and toes gently and come back to the room. It really had not felt that long, but with a gentle stretch of my fingers, I reluctantly raised myself from the mat. The spikes coming away left my skin smarting slightly, but not in a bad way. It is difficult to describe. And there were tiny indentations across my back, which still felt warm after the treatment. I stood, folded my mat carefully, with love, and put it and the pillow onto a special shelf of its own. I decided from that moment that this mat would be my new favourite thing.
That was over a month ago. I now use the mat at least three times a week, for around twenty minutes each time, playing either the app or some gentle music as I do. If I feel stressed about anything, it is my first port of call. If I suffer disapointment or have an off-day, I use the mat. Usually I use it in the evening as a wind-down mechanism, but if I feel I might have a rough day at the corporate job, then I will use it in the morning before I go to work.
People close to me have seen a huge difference in me, whether it is family and friends, or colleagues at work. Everyone remarks how relaxed I am. I have the same stressful situations as before, and the same annoyances of daily life as before, but somehow they sort of bounce off me.
"Surely a mat cannot have that much of an effect on you?" my closest friend remarked last week.
I nodded slowly in agreement. I had thought the same.
But it was the only thing that had changed in my day to day life.
And then, when I had to travel for work, I missed a few sessions on my mat.
The work trip was tough. The work stress barely took any time to begin to crawl across my shoulders and neck, gripping me painfully, starting to affect my sleep, and making my heart beat faster with the beginnings of anxiety. I returned home and my husband, seeing that gnarly stress had returned, immediately suggested I jump on my mat.
"I'll take the dog. You go and relax." he said. "It seems to do you so much good."
I nodded, and went upstairs to lay on my mat, phone in hand so I could listen to my favourite session on the Shakti app.
It was like coming home again! The spikes pierced my grateful, hunched up shoulders, and it took me less than two minutes to settle into the delicious warmth of my skin reacting to the pressure. My shoulders and neck released all the pain, my mind emptied of stress, and my thoughts stilled. I lay there for twenty minutes, and it felt like three. So I started the next lesson, and lay there for another twenty minutes again. Pure heaven.
Giving my husband a grateful smile for the suggestion, and giving the dog a pat good-night before she could give me a wet kiss, I slept peacefully again for the first time in days. My last thoughts as I drifted off were "I wish I could have found this sooner."
And so, here it is, my first ever affiliate blog post. I know these are common, and I had thought I would not bother doing these, but that mat has been so beneficial, so helpful to me in my non-drinking journey, I just had to share it with you all. It is as if I have re-discovered a super-effective way to relax properly, without wine, and it really is my favourite thing in the world. I hope some of you find it useful, too. I purchased the mat myself, by choice, not knowing what wonders it held - it was not gifted, so this is a 100% genuine review.
Here is a link to the mat and pillow I purchased, with a nice discount too:
Let me know what you think if you decide to try it. I am curious as to whether it works for all of us sober warriors. And I think, ethical, lovely company that they are, they give you a trial period guarantee on the mat of sixty days, which is rather decent of them.
They will not be seeing my beloved mat, that's for sure. In fact, if this link works, I might just buy myself a level 2 version and step things up a notch!
Have a lovely week,
Amanda x
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