I finally got round to fixing a broken screen on my iPad last week. It had been broken for three years.
As I left the screen repair shop I felt a huge surge of relief, and thought back to the day it broke. My one year German Shepherd dog had leant over it to bark at the cat one morning, and the screen gave a sickening crack sound as her claw hit the edge of it. My fault for leaving it on the chair.
The screen had broken pretty badly, but the iPad itself worked fine, as they often do. I used it a lot for work, and for browsing the news during lunchtime breaks with a cuppa. I just had to slightly avoid the broken area, in case it cut me, and its rough edges were a little unsightly. But it did not detract from the actual use of the device, so I guess that was okay.
Except it wasn't really, was it.
It was a daily annoyance. It created daily energy snags. Not huge ones, but energy snags nonetheless. If I took it to bed with me to read a few digital magazines before sleep, it annoyed me. It annoyed me when playing a puzzle with a coffee whilst waiting for my flight at work. It annoyed me when I took it to the office, because I always had to be super careful of what I placed beside it in my satchel. I had to be careful where I put it at night, and if it fell it would cause my heart to skip. "Is this the time I lose it altogether?" I would think. "I must get it fixed soon."
And so it went on for three years, until a little repair shop opened up on the Island and popped an advert on Facebook. I was going to the dentist anyway, so I had it repaired.
Sound familiar? It certainly felt familiar to me.
I used to drink wine every night. In my heart I knew it was doing me no good. The extra weight I was carrying after decades of too much booze was harder to lose, more stubborn. My blood pressure was too high. My heart would palpitate. I wasn't sleeping well. My skin looked dreadful, as did my hair. My gums were not great. I had aches and pains all over, my breathing and overall health was suffering, and I had several mystery health problems. And this was in the daytime, once the hangovers had subsided! I, of course, lied to my doctor when asked how much I drank. My brain refused to believe alcohol was the cause because I simply did not want to give it up.
I was broken. I knew I needed to repair myself. I had a nagging thought in my head... I knew I was drinking much more than the "recommended" weekly amount in a night, let alone a week. Could it be causing me health problems? I sent off a blood test to check my liver damage levels, encouraged by an advert I saw on Facebook. It came back on the upper level, but still in the green, just, and I breathed a sigh of relief. But still the little nagging thoughts continued.
Towards the end of my drinking journey, I would lie in bed each night, promising myself I would fix it in the morning. I would stop drinking and get healthy! Tomorrow! On and on it went, for years and years, and years.
And then one day I got myself fixed. And just like fixing my iPad screen after three years, the relief I felt once I had given up alcohol for good, after three decades of drinking too much, was immense. And every day since I feel such a huge amount of relief that I escaped the cognitive dissonance of worrying about my health every night, and then beating myself up every morning. It was so tiring.
Are you tired, too? If so, why not give Dry January a go? Sign up for my emails, or book a discovery call, and we can do it all together. I cannot wait to see the difference it makes to your life too!
Have a lovely holiday,
Amanda x
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