
I was enjoying another alcohol-free beer in a local pub a couple of nights ago, celebrating a colleagues retirement, and having a really good time with old work friends I hadn't seen in ages. It was a fantastic evening, and a few of them seemed really interested in my alcohol-free lifestyle and the training I am doing with This Naked Mind Institute.
Something that struck me, was how worried people were about giving up alcohol.
"Oh, rather you than me - I'd be worried I'd never be able to go out again!" said one.
"I have no idea how I'd get through the day without a glass of wine at the end of it!" declared another.
Later that evening, I thought about my own experience, and I remember being absolutely terrified about having to give up drinking when it became apparent I would never be able to moderate. So many questions went through my head. Why does giving up alcohol feel so scary?
Would I have to go to Alcoholics Anonymous? I really did not think this would suit me... but I considered it.
Would I ever be able to socialise again? Surely the alcohol gave me the confidence to speak to people and have a laugh?
What about evenings where I needed alcohol just to get through the night with work colleagues and "team building" events, where I was with people I would not normally hang out with?
Could I get over the shame of not being able to drink alcohol like "normal" people?
What does one even DO on an evening without booze?
Would conversation with friends over dinner just dry up into awkward silence?
What about all the Christmas parties? How would I have fun?
What about all the birthday parties? Weddings? Music concerts? Even funerals?
Is there something WRONG with me?
Why can they all drink whatever they like and take it or leave it?
I LOVE my wine, don't I? What do I do after a stressful day at work?
How do I hide when I feel low or down? How do I relax?
How do I calm the anxiety I feel on nights out I do not want to attend?
Who even AM I without alcohol?
There were more questions, so many more. The story in my head had pictures of me being led off to AA meetings and forever feeling deprived, the feeling I would be missing out for the rest of my life. A life made dull and boring, because life would be no fun without alcohol, surely.
The first couple of times I gave up, I white-knuckled a Sober October or Dry January, and it really DID feel hard. I was miserable all month, and I would turn down invitations to nights out or anything that involved drinking. Hell, sometimes I would not even make the month, instead sneaking myself a glass of wine or five mid month when I could stand it no more. My excuse was I needed it to recover from a bad day at work, or a stressful day, or [insert random rubbish excuse here]. I once paid Cancer Research all the money I had promised to raise myself, just to have a bottle of wine before the month was up. Twerp.
And then I picked up a book by Annie Grace. And then I joined the brilliant and free This Naked Mind Companion App and I met hundreds of other people trapped in the exact same mindset as me.
It was amazing not to feel so alone, and I soon realised that hundreds of thousands of normal, high-functioning people had the same thoughts and struggles in their heads about that glass of wine or beer at the end of the evening.
Inside the app was a free but very doable, 30 day alcohol moderation tool called the Alcohol Experiment, and I followed it diligently, learning a new fact everyday which challenged my thinking on all things alcohol, and finally I understood what was happening to me every time I drank a glass of wine.
I was completely and utterly normal, I discovered, and I was no more likely not to get addicted to alcohol any more than I was able to resist cigarettes after I had formed the habit of smoking them. This was an absolutely revelation. It was not my fault. Better yet, I did not need to go to AA!
I had given up smoking over ten years previously, and hadn't even thought of a cigarette since! Could it be possible to do the same with drink?
Yes, as it turns out. It was completely and utterly and deliciously possible, and I have never been so happy or content in my life ever since. I dance, I go out, I socialise, I howl with laughter at funny jokes my friends tell me, in fact I howl with laughter at most things now. Certainly many more than I used to.
My anxiety has disappeared. Any symptoms I once blamed on peri-menopause have gone. I am no longer on edge all the time. I found sleep again - real sleep! And I found me.
I did this without punishment or berating, without torturous cravings, without willpower, without effort. I simply no longer want to drink alcohol.
Can you imagine a life where you no longer have to think about alcohol? A life where you save a fortune in bars and still have a great time on alcohol free beverages? A life with no hangovers? A life where you look maybe ten years younger, and your skin and hair looks better than it has for years? A life where weight management is not such an issue? Without waking up at 3am trying to remember the night before? Without having to apologise to your boss for calling him names at the Christmas party, or cringing at texts you sent someone the night before?
It exists, and it's so easy. And trust me, it's incredible.
Head over to This Naked Mind and sign up. What have you got to lose?
Stay Fierce,
Amanda x

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