This morning I awoke to the most beautiful sunny morning in Hayling Island, in the UK.
The sky was crisp and blue, with wispy white clouds, and the air was clean and cool as I breathed it in. As I walked my gigantic German Shepherd dog through the bridlepath her huge paws crunched against the leaves that had fallen from the trees above me.
My dog stopped to stare at a bug on the ground, watching it as it scurried away from her. I stopped too, and took a deep, satisfied inhale of breath, and I experienced another glimmer. They are a regular occurrence these days. Nyx wagged her tail in delight at me as she crunched said bug with glee.
"Gross animal." I admonished, laughed, and gave her massive head a skooch before walking on happily.
For those "in the know", this should make you smile. If you have been drink-free for several months, then you will likely be getting glimmers too.
For those yet to feel them, they are the complete opposite of that awful dread you feel in the pit of your stomach after a heavy night of drinking. It is like a buzz of pure gratitude, happiness and excitement, whipping up inside of you, making your heart skip with happiness. If you had a good childhood, as I did, then you might remember them just before Christmas, or a birthday, or a big happy event.
I never take these glimmers for granted, because I was without them for so many decades. If I had known that using alcohol to hide from pain and grief would also steal away my happiness and my mental health, then I would never have "enjoyed" a single glass of wine back then. But this is exactly what drinking poison does to your body. It steals away happiness, steals joy, and even steals your body's ability to heal - both mentally and physically. All your body can do is try to get rid of the poison you added to your system, and that is all it will do, until the poison is completely eradicated. You are not paying £10 or $14 for that bottle of wine, my friend. You are paying far, far more than money.
During the final few years of my wine drinking days all I could think about during the day was being free from its grasp, and discovering a new, healthy lifestyle. I was so envious of those who could take or leave alcohol.
Now that I am free, all I can think about is how grateful I am for the changes Amanda from the past made, in order to give me the present and the future I can now look forward to, without alcohol. She was the best, bravest Amanda ever!
An example of gratitude right here...
Last night I was invited to do a podcast with some dear friends from This Naked Mind Institute, and my fellow coaches, to talk about my book, Spirits & Sorrow, which is doing amazingly well! And, you know what - I think I did okay! I was calm, my hosts were wonderfully kind and supportive as I was talking about some difficult subjects, and I had so much fun. I told them afterwards it was the first time i had ever shared myself on video since creating the ZeroFierce universe, and my first ever podcast. I could not have wished for a lovelier introduction to podcasting and book promotion.
After the podcast I sipped my tea, dog beside me, and marvelled at my life today. I have written a book... I still need to pinch myself for that. I have appeared on a podcast. I am FREE from alcohol. I am a writer! And I have a successful coaching business.
Why? Because alcohol no longer steals my hopes and dreams and leaves me in a fug of blurriness, blackouts, anxiety and hangovers.
If you have not quite found freedom yet, or if you have given up, but you are still hankering after a drink, then YOU can be here too. How? Simply by embracing a gratitude mindset, instead of feeling like you are missing out.
Trust me, my friend, it is not the people who are alcohol-free who are missing out...
Amanda x
You can listen to my colleagues podcasts - Alcohol Freedom Finders here:
Youtube - Podcast & Video
Podcasters - Audio Only
Instagram - Audio & Video
I will be on it very soon!
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